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Mean Santa's Workshop

SANTA'S LIST

No Toys For No Toys' Sake

Crazy Ultraviolent Woman-Hater Will Not Need Toys Where He Is Going

Here Is A Threat That Is Not Empty -- No Toys For You!

No Toys For Selling Out At Final Clearance Prices

Can You Smell What Santa Is Cooking? Here's a Hint -- Not Toys

No Toys for Criticizing Toys With Which One Has Not Actually Played

Jew-Baiters Get No Toys, Unless, Perhaps, A Deliciously Ironic Dreidel

No Toys for Cheap Knockoffs

No Dancing? No Toys

No Toys for Slackers



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Santa's Helper

I am Santa. Santa does not understand this newfangled R.S.S., but the elves tell him it is important.

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October 2006
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I am Santa. Santa believes he has an illustrated book in him. There may be toys for those who help Santa (presuming Santa finds no other, hidden, moral defects). Contact Santa's helper at the link above for information.

No toys for Tan D. Nguyen

I am Santa. Harassing legal immigrants to stop them from voting is not nice. Especially when you are yourself an immigrant. No toys for you!

Posted by Santa, 10/19/2006
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This is www.MeanSanta.com

STATEMENT OF PRINCIPLES

Santa knows what you did.

So spare the denials.

You've been very bad.

It's all in the files.

He knows when you've been sleeping. He knows when you're awake.

He knows who you've been sleeping with.

Have some self-respect, for God's sake!

All the schmucks down in Shmuckville get quite sentimental,

But Santa thinks your problem's more existential.

You're pampered and needy. Your job's in a rut.

You're using the Internet mainly for smut.

Your mouth is wide open. Your eyes are glued shut.

You're searching for something. "Boo hoo, don't know what."

You know, Santa is thinking you won't make the cut.

See, Santa's decided, and bear with him here,

That Christmas should be more selective this year.

Naughtiness reigns, so here's what we'll do.

Santa will judge. And it's... NO TOYS FOR YOU!


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