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Mean Santa's Workshop

SANTA'S LIST

...And No Toys For Anyone Who BUYS The Book Either

Jolly... My Ass T-Shirt

No Toys For Drunks Who Lie With Stupidity

Santa Is Always Watching, Whether Or Not The 'Borat' Cameras Are Running

Pay Attention To When The Red Light Is On, If You Want Toys, That Is

Sure! You Will Get Toys, Mr. Pathological Fibber! Do You Believe Santa?

If You Want Toys, Come And Take Toys. Santa Dares You.

Burning The Coal In Your Stocking Will Produce Hot Air

Do Not Assault Minimum Wage Workers If You Want Toys

No Toys For Loving Dogs Too Much



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Santa's Helper

I am Santa. Santa does not understand this newfangled R.S.S., but the elves tell him it is important.

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October 2006
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December 2006


I am Santa. Santa believes he has an illustrated book in him. There may be toys for those who help Santa (presuming Santa finds no other, hidden, moral defects). Contact Santa's helper at the link above for information.

No toys for Brittany Spears

I am Santa. There is a qualitative difference between displaying one's nether regions for the joy of it and cynically presenting for the publicity. Rest assured, Santa knows the difference. No toys for you!

Posted by Santa, 12/02/2006
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This is www.MeanSanta.com

STATEMENT OF PRINCIPLES

Santa knows what you did.

So spare the denials.

You've been very bad.

It's all in the files.

He knows when you've been sleeping. He knows when you're awake.

He knows who you've been sleeping with.

Have some self-respect, for God's sake!

All the schmucks down in Shmuckville get quite sentimental,

But Santa thinks your problem's more existential.

You're pampered and needy. Your job's in a rut.

You're using the Internet mainly for smut.

Your mouth is wide open. Your eyes are glued shut.

You're searching for something. "Boo hoo, don't know what."

You know, Santa is thinking you won't make the cut.

See, Santa's decided, and bear with him here,

That Christmas should be more selective this year.

Naughtiness reigns, so here's what we'll do.

Santa will judge. And it's... NO TOYS FOR YOU!


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